Carman brought it to my attention that it has been about a month since my last post and that many of you are probably wondering what is going on. Well, it feels like little is going on in my world yet everything. I had my 3rd chemo round on March 6th and my sister Tara was recruited to be the weekend nurse as Carman was working at the Home and Acreage Show. She did a fine job of putting away laundry and unloading the dishwasher. We also enjoyed a trip to the mall with my friend Rhonda for Yogen Fruz.
This crossroads in my life is still bringing me a lot of anguish. Prior to my cancer diagnosis I was a very motivated, productive, and fit person. I now struggle to get a small list of things done in a day and my body often feels like a stranger. Rationally I know this is because I am getting chemo, but my emotions often could care less about 'rational reasoning'. I want to be able to get outside for my 2 long walks every day with Rudy, I want to have the brain power to pick up my books again so I can write the final CFP exam (I was so close to being done), I want to feel like I am contributing to my marriage versus taking all of the time. But most of all, I want to give up my plans for the future so I can participate in the plan that Jesus has for me - I just don't have a clue on how to go about doing that. I just started reading a book on Trusting God. It is so easy to praise God and trust him when times are good, but when times are bad, for me, that ability to trust has been hard. However, when I contemplate God's sovereignty, even the painful stuff is worked into his plan for the goodness of his kingdom, and my life. I admit, my simple human brain cannot comprehend how all this can be worked for good, but I am working on trusting God that it is.
Peace Out.
About Me
- Brenda Odovichuc
- I am a stubborn Ukrainian by blood! I am also a wife, daughter, sister, auntie, cousin and friend. At the age of 31 on August 26, 2008, I was diagnosed with Grade 3 Invasive Ductile Carcinoma (breast cancer)and was upgraded to Stage 4 on Sept 29th. Yes, it was a shock. I had just discovered the lump two weeks prior on August 11th after returning home from a camping trip (a memorable weekend at Buffalo Lake). With my Heavenly Father at my side, I am going to fight and beat the disease of cancer!!! I take great comfort in having a personal relationship with my savior, Jesus Christ, and I know with-out-a-doubt that God has a plan for my life – HE IS FAITHFUL! I invite you to take this journey with me by visiting my blog. Your replies and words of encouragement will be greatly needed in the days, weeks, and months ahead. On this blog I will post our needs as they arise. On Christ the Solid Rock I Stand All Other Ground is Sinking Sand, Brenda Odovichuc
5 comments:
Hi Brenda
Thank you for the update, as hard as it may be to do such. I haven't commented for awhile, but like many others, I check your blog often, awaiting your update. You still sound gracious...I admire that so very much. I have a card that has been waiting to come your way for months now. It says: "Never, never, never give up." (~Winston Churchill) It will be the mail tomorrow!Thinking of you. Darlene (Lita and Darryl's friend)
Hi Brenda - I hope that this posts this time.
We had a guest speaker at our church this weekend who spoke about the same thing you are considering right now - faith. It is very easy when things are good to have faith and tell the world about your faith, however, when you are directly in the line of fire, the idea of faith becomes a lot more ambiguous. The speaker quoted a lot from Habbakuk (sp?) - it's a short book in the Old Testament - have a look at it.
It is very hard to go from being so independent to have to let go and let others do the caregiving no matter what the reasons are, but I'm learning that everyone has to go through that at somepoint in their life - your paradigm shift is just a lot larger than what many others have to bear.
Take this time to refocus and concentrate on recovery and wellness and yourself - sometimes the simplest things become the ones you will treasure the most.
Please know that you are never far from the thoughts and prayers of someone in the world, even if you have never met them.
Marla (Taryn's friend).
Hey Brenda!
I just wanted to let you know I was thinking about you today, Jenn said you were back in Edmonton. I will be praying for good news!
Thinking of you always,
kam
Hi Brenda and Carman,
We wanted to let you know how grateful we are to have you in our lives. God has placed an earnest love in our hearts for you and a deep desire to lift you up daily in our prayers. A good friend of mine, who doesn't to my knowledge know God yet, spoke to me today about how your blog has made her want to find faith like yours. She said that your blog was so moving and inspiring for her. Thanks for sharing your heart. Love Darryl, Lita, Austin, Emily, Jonathan and Brianna
Brenda, I have been on my own breast cancer journey for the last 9 months and I have recently read the book The Shack. It has helped me a lot. Just thought I would share this with you.
Best Wishes
Dianna
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