Feelings

So my mom was telling me the other day that someone was asking her about my 'feelings'. I don't talk about my feelings much with just any body. And who I do get 'deep' with might surprise some. Sure the person I talk to the most is Carman, but I have a very select few who know some of my deepest feelings. It is very private for me to disclose my deepest thoughts - I think it is no different than just asking someone how much money they make or how much sex they are having.

You don't start chatting it up a the mall and say: "So how much money did you make this month?" It is on this same level to ask a cancer patient: "How are you feeling emotionally?"

I have found conversations have developed just naturally. For instance, my brother and sister-in law and I had a really great and deep conversation about Heaven not too long ago. Mel (my sister-in-law) saw that I had bought the book Heaven by Andy Alcorn and the conversation just developed. Or, I was talking to a women who is also battling stage 4 breast cancer which gave me a chance to talk to someone who could really relate to some of the same issues I deal with.

I also find that I have a much easier time talking about my feelings in intimate settings with my fellow believers in Christ. You see, us Christians have been given many, many promises by our Heavenly Father and sometimes we need our fellow believers to remind us of those. I think if you are a non-believer you would sometimes think I am crazy or weird for my feelings, and truthfully I am just not strong enough right now to try and explain myself to those who don't know Christ. I still think it is rather funny that I used to think 'church people' were dull, judgemental, perfect... that couldn't be further from the truth.

So if you ask me how I am feeling I will probably just answer "really good, or a bit tired, or I am looking forward to having hair" all which are completely true. But want to see inside my heart, that's pretty personal.

The other day my neighbour came over to tell me she saw a skunk and her two babies on our front yard and she complimented me saying she thought I looked like the 'poster girl for cancer'. Now that is the way to talk to a cancer patient! She didn't ask me about my feelings!