I miss my Nurse

Last night Carman and I went to a movie just to get out of the house. We have become so accustomed to leaving the radio and light on, and giving Rudy 3 treats before we leave. Leaving a quiet dark house was hard. Then, coming home and not having Rudy casually come out of her kennel to say 'oh hi guys, your home', was hard too. Lot and lots of tears fell yesterday.

To be honest, I feel like we have suffered so much pain already this past year. I have had so much physical and emotional pain having to cope with cancer, and now to have a broken heart is really unbearable right now. And I feel so bad for Carman- here we were living a fantastic life and now he has had to watch his 'girls' go through so much and hold so much responsibility on his shoulders.

Rudy often got the title 'Nurse Rudy', and she took it seriously. Here is a picture of us cuddling downstairs. I was in the middle or radiation (I still had hair), and felt like total crap. Rudy was good at just being there for me.

Goodbye Rudy

Today was a very, very hard day for Carman and I. This morning we put our dog Rudy to sleep. Several years ago now she was diagnosed with Wobblers disease. - she was dragging her front paws to the point of bleeding and falling down the stairs. With chiropractor care we were able to manage her symptoms very well, but even that was no longer working. Over the past couple days she was loosing bowel control and no longer wanted to go down the stairs or get-up for her daily walks - she was loosing her zest for life.

Rudy came to us when she was only 8 weeks old with a Shriner's hat on (her ears were taped-up to a foam cup). She won over our hearts right away. As she grew, so did her personality. She loved to jump over fallen trees, roller-blade and run with our bike, peanut butter, sleeping on the bed when we went camping, sun tanning, sneaking food off the counter, giving kisses, barking at the mailman, but most of all she loved to be petted constantly.

We have met many people becuse of Rudy, and some have become lifelong friends. Rudy was also there to be sense of comfort over the past year for both Carman and I as we battled cancer. There were many days when she would just lay beside me a cuddle while I cried. And there were also days she was the best physical trainer and got me out walking even when it was the last thing I wanted to do - and I always felt better for it.

Some people are blessed with children of the human kind. Our baby had four legs, and we called her Rudy.

I LOVE MY MAN!

Last night I fell even more in love with my man. First let me share that when he got home from work he made a yummy supper of mushroom gravy meatballs, mashed potatoes, carrots and peas. In our house the rule is if you cook you don't clean, but he offered to clean-up so I could finish cleaning the bathrooms before I left for my Wednesday night women's bible study. Before I left I asked if he could water the plants, dust some shelves I can't reach, and if he had time, shorten the curtains I bought at IKEA (oh those honey-to-do lists). You see, the last time I bought curtains from IKEA I tried to hem them but my sewing machine kept jamming-up. Mr. Home Economics took over and hemmed them like a pro. IKEA has improved their curtains and now you just need to iron on some hem tape and cut. When I got home, Carman had the 'game' on and was hemming curtains!

I LOVE MY HONEY!

I know all the women out there are jealous. For all the men out there who read my blog, don't make fun of my man or I'll have to kick your ass.

Pink Glove Dance

Confession Hour

I was thinking today how much better I feel. Not just physically, but mentally. Last year at this time I was just about done radiation and my life was a total fog. These days I still gets moments of anxiousness in my day, for whatever reason I am not totally sure why. Well that isn't really true, I know why, I've got cancer. But I find now I can have the moment and then get on with it. Today when I got 'that feeling' I just stopped what I was doing, picked up my Bible and picked-up where I left off in Acts and 'that feeling' went away. I've been trying to study one chapter of the Bible a day. I'm a keener - I've got my notebook and everything! I have been guilty of calling people 'Bible Thumpers' back in my day, and now I am one and proud of it.

I have also been confessing my faults publicly. Confession #1: I have an addiction to soda. Since ending chemo it seems like I have been having a soda daily - not good. To try and kick the habit I told myself I wasn't permitted any soda until we go on vacation on December 29th. So far so good - day 5. But on day 3 I almost caved! Confession #2: I too can not stick to a shopping list. Wednesday night Carman told me he was going to go to Costco (without me). In the past when Carman goes by himself he comes home at least a couple hundred later and the newest latest and greatest groceries. So, I requested he wait until I could go with him. But then I realized I was being a hypocrite. You see, just a few days before I went to Chapters to buy a 2010 calendar book (Inuit Art theme) and came out with the calendar plus 4 books (2 on investing and 2 on marketing). Confession #3: I am guilty of being quick to judge. I really can't go into the story, but let just say I am not proud of myself. I could keep going, but these are the main ones this week.

Health Update - The swelling in my arm (lymphoma) I think is down quite a bit. I go to Edmonton next week to get it re-assessed. I think the sleeve and hand piece are working well. I also went to my Naturopath and he gave me a concoction to take orally. Tomorrow I see a Gynecologist about getting my ovaries removed and I am find my body is 'aching' much less!

My friend Tasha lent me the book Memories of a Geisha which it such a good read. I am trying to take my time becuase it is the type of book you just don't want to end. I saw the movie in the theater, but I am looking forward to renting it again. If you are looking for a good read this winter I highly recommend this one.

Is anybody out there going to be in Pheonix Jan 1st? Carman and I will be and would welcome any invitation of a place to sleep.

Treat or Treat

Carman looked so creepy our dog Rudy didn't even want to be around him.

Patience

I just love this picture! Watching the turkey in the oven.