This morning I had my bone scan. I first arrived at 8:30am to have something radioactive injected into my hand. I guess I should share with you that my right arm is now off limits from needles and pressure cuffs for life. Unfortunately, my right arm was much better at providing an injectible vein than my left arm. Chemo should prove to be interesting - I may have to get a port surgically implanted to elevate them digging around with a needle.
At 11am I returned for the actual scan. They lay you on a table which has a box less than 1m sq then scans the body from head to toe. I am known to have problems with chlosterphobia, so when I opened my eyes and saw I was confined, I had the urge to panic a bit. Then I prayed for peace and it came.
My friend Sharon e-mail me right before I left and advised me to bring a CD to listen to. Thanks for the advice! I brought my African Women's music and I daydreamed I was backpacking in Africa with Carman.
Last night I was in chest and back pain. I got very overwhelmed and had a down moment. I cancelled going to my women's group because I was in pain, and I just couldn't face the topic we are discussing - Eternity. I have been know to say I am looking forward to death. One day in heaven is more glorious than a thousand elsewhere - who wouldn't want to go there. But when you are faced with a potentially life threatening illness, Eternity is a much more emotional subject. Today I am feeling much better emotionally and mentally.
I feel optomistic in God's plan for my life. He is way better at planning and the details than I could ever be, and I am certain his plan is even better than anything than I could ever dream of.
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5 comments:
Hi Brenda,
Thanks for sharing about your day. We were praying for you and anxious to know how your day went. We will pray that you have a great sleep tonight.
Love and prayers, Lita and Darryl and kids
Hi Brenda - I am thankful you continue to share your heart and experiences with us all. we are praying daily for you - love, Mel
Brenda, my heart is so heavy for you. Even with the greatest confidence in our own eternal home, I cannot imagine being faced with a tangible sense of how close it is. You must be overwhelmed with emotion. Praying that the bone scan results come back completely negative. *hugs*
Brenda, Thanks for sharing openly about your journey. I will give you a call early next week as my schedule is quite open. A huge hug & prayers.
luv Angela
Hi Brenda,
We know God is with you each day. We think of you and pray for you every day. The news will be good news. Thanks for sharing your heart with us.
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